I “finished” Seeing Clearly in November. I suspect I had reached the point where I didn’t know whether any further tinkering would improve it or lead to overwriting some time back but in November I ran out of excuses and sent it to a literary consultancy. I haven’t looked at it since.
December has been the first month in 5 years where I haven’t been thinking about how I could improve or add to Seeing Clearly. Perhaps part of taking so long to send it off was because I wasn’t sure I would write another novel. For 5 years I have worked on Seeing Clearly and although I wanted to think I would write another, frankly I worried I wouldn’t have the energy or motivation – I rather suspected that perhaps I wrote Seeing Clearly just to prove I could. This thinking scared me. What if I am not really a writer after all and this was just a 5 year dalliance? Simply a flirtation?
My husband tells me I get obsessed with new hobbies – I still knit, sew and cross-stitch occasionally. However when the boys were little everything from their nappy bag and knitted booties to their dinosaur scatter cushions was handmade plus I set up a knitting business for a while. Perhaps writing would go the same way?
For the last few days though I have been feeling anxious. I have been running scenes in my head and thinking through plot and character arcs. I was worrying about motivation and what my characters needed to overcome while cooking Christmas lunch. Last night it got to that nagging stage – you know – the stage where you are lying in bed composing the first line and your fingers itch for a pen and some clean, lined paper. Today I stopped fighting and opened a new Scrivener project. A novel with the catchy title of “Prequel to Seeing Clearly” is 5 lines in.
I can’t wait to carry on with it tomorrow. If it is a flirtation then perhaps I’ll keep flirting just a little bit longer. I think Swidthun’s story needs to be told.